Why I’m not a “Supermom”

I asked 80 moms what they think disqualifies them from being a “Supermom”. The following are direct quotes from some of those moms whose kids range in age from newborn to 20 years old. I hope you can relate to some of their responses… I know I did! I also hope some make you laugh… I know I definitely laughed along with a few of these moms! I also hope that some of these responses make you think. As moms can be our own worst critics. We can easily see everything we do wrong and everything that we should be doing better. We compare our struggles with other moms triumphs and that is just not fair. Next time I hope to catch myself before I pass judgement on another mom for something that she does or doesn’t do to “my standard.” We are all just trying to do the best that we can for our kids. Let’s give moms a break and let’s give ourselves a break because I think we know that we are hardest on ourselves.

Without further adieu.. Here is how some moms answered the question of what they think disqualifies them from being “Supermom”.

“I am a TERRIBLE house wife, which means that I’m a terrible stay at home mommy. I am terrible at keeping the house clean, organized, and same goes with the kids… making sure they are clean, clothes laundered, rooms clean …and shall I admit it? For awhile I was really bad at making sure the kids brushed their teeth regularly!! We FINALLY have that one down now though…. thank goodness!”

“My daughter HATES tummy time with a passion! We do it occasionally throughout the day, but not the “recommended” amount. Sometimes I feel that I should probably do it more so that my baby gets those strong upper body muscles!”

“I am not patient enough sometimes.”

“I breast feed for the most part, but started supplementing with 1 or 2 bottles of formula when [my daughter] was around 4 months. I felt guilty about not solely breast feeding her.”

“I don’t make cool snacks. Like cutting shapes out of food and making cute healthy things they enjoy.”

“I yell at my kids.”

“My hubby does the dishes and gives kiddo a bath almost every night because I am just too stinkin tired every night come days end…”

“I don’t make everything- I do make my own wipes and I plan to make my own baby food with my second one, but I know there are many other things I could make at home that I don’t.”

“I let [my baby] watch Baby Einstein videos on my iPhone when she is upset in the car. I know that a little TV is ok for them but I also know that the phone puts off radiation that may or may not be harmful to her.”

“I can’t freeze time. How life would be so much more enjoyable if I could let the clock run while doing the mundane things and freeze time while playing with my family. I can dream, right? But on a more serious and personal note, I have a long check list everyday. If those things get off track (which they always do, life can’t be made to fit in a planner), I tend to get agitated. Well, discouraged, really. I like to have all my boxes on my to-do list checked off. It makes me feel like I’ve made the most of my day. When I only have 1 or 2 items marked off, I feel as though my whole day (and super mom brilliance) has been wasted.”

“I don’t know how to sew. I’ve always thought it’s super when moms are good at mending things or making homemade items or Halloween costumes. Seems like it would save my family a lot of money too.”

“I don’t do daily devotionals every day with the kids and I really wish I could figure out some way to incorporate that in. Most of the time I just plain forget or I am tired!”

“We don’t do tons of crafts, and honestly I don’t really like them. So, needless to say, [my] kids go to preschool and [church] to get their crafts on.”

“I am not good at “playing” with my child! We spend lots of great quality bonding time together, but I actually have to force myself to just PLAY (even when she was a baby.)”

“With five kids it’s hard to drop everything and play Barbie’s for an hour…. Even if my heart wants to. There are many simultaneous needs and I have to choose what’s best for most but that leaves holes for some.”

“Keeping my baby out till 11 sometimes and not having a set bedtime. Although in my head her bedtime is 7:30, it just hasn’t actually happened yet.”

“I get upset when my baby doesn’t take his normal long  nap. I feel really bad about getting upset, but I need that “me” time and I feel like he is messing with my day.”

“Not working. Having a child is a full time job, but there are so many moms out there who work and I honestly don’t know how they do it.”

“I don’t do pictures… I sometimes take them and then rarely do anything with them.”

“My daughter is a horrible sleeper! Getting her down for naps or bedtime is a chore, and although she’s almost 2, she still doesn’t sleep through the night. I know I should let her cry it out, or practice some tough love to get her to sleep better, but instead, I just get up and rub her tummy until she falls asleep again. I haven’t had a full night sleep now in 3 years, thanks to an uncomfortable pregnancy and a sleepless child.”

“Not being able to breast feed my child is by far the worst thing. I was suppose to go 48 hrs rest time and pump so I could heal well. The pump the hospital ordered didn’t get there for 72 hours. By that time I was so engorged that when I pumped I was dry. I think because I didn’t do it all natural and make all my baby’s food (I wish I would have done that from the beginning) some other moms judge.”

“This is sad but true- I haven’t figured out yet how to take a real shower. Showers for me mean jumping in and back out 2 minutes later. When my husband is home (weekend mornings) and watching the baby I live it up and wash my hair and shave my legs. I always have laundry, dishes and cleaning to attend to… And often they get left for the next day. Beds go unmade most of the time, my to do list seems to get longer instead of shorter each day.”

“I think I don’t take [my baby] out and about enough. I should socialize him more. Oh yeah, and I haven’t finished decorating his nursery…”

“I am not very organized. This is a constant battle on the ground and in my head, and with anyone who comes to take care of my [kids].”

“My [bad] health. [It] seems to hinder playtime and what not.”

Thank you to all of the moms who took the time to respond. I appreciate your honesty and willingness to share your struggles with me. It was seriously so helpful for me personally to read your responses and feel that I am not alone in my struggles and worries with motherhood. I hope that by sharing these responses here that you are encouraged as well that you are not alone. And you can rest assured that your kids don’t need a Supermom, but they do need their mom. Fortunately you are a perfect fit! (And that is true even on those days when you aren’t feeling so super!) Stay tuned for Part Two of this post!

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4 thoughts on “Why I’m not a “Supermom”

  1. Thanks Amanda. It’s nice to be reminded that no mom is perfect. The playgroup can be like a competitive sport for moms, and it’s easy to feel like your losing when your child comes running to you with a sagging diaper, no shoes and her perfectly braided hair in a mess! thanks for the reminder.

    • I need the reminder myself. : ) Which is why I write. I love the picture of moms fighting for a “best mom ever” trophy that your comment just painted in my head. Haha. (Should we let them know that there is no trophy? Or let them keep fighting for it?)

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