(Surely feeding your one year old baby a chocolate sprinkle donut disqualifies you from being a Supermom. Or does it qualify you? I’m not quite sure how it works?)
I had promised this post last week, but with baby boy’s first birthday and family visiting, I just was able to sneak in some time to sip coffee and compile all these responses this afternoon. I asked 80 moms what they think disqualifies them from being a Supermom (you can read that post here) and on the flip side what they think makes them a Brilliant mom.
After reading through all of the responses that I received, the English student in me wanted to find some kind of theme throughout all of these responses so that I could draw them all together and sum them up with one clever conclusion. The truth is, I couldn’t connect all of these responses. And try I did! (When you read them you will see what I mean.) Each of these responses are as unique as the moms who wrote them. Every mom had very different things that they identified as being what they thought made them brilliant.
I realize that for a lot of moms it feels weird to call yourself brilliant. It’s not normal and I get that. It maybe even kept a few from responding at all. It feels almost wrong and shall I say it… prideful. I hope that you are able to see that this is not my heart behind this question. To puff a mom up so that she thinks she is too cool for school, or better than the mom next to her is far from my intention. Let me clarify my heart… As moms, I think we can spend too much time focusing on the things that we do (or don’t do) that we aren’t so proud of, that we don’t take enough time to celebrate the things that we do that make us proud. I think it is okay to acknowledge and celebrate your strengths as a mom. It is healthy to be able to assess yourself as a mom and feel encouraged with what you are doing right and motivated to grow in areas that well… might need some growth.
The responses that follow are all different not just because all the moms are different, but because their kids are all different as well! They are all different ages, have different personalities, and different needs! So be encouraged because the things that you believe you are doing brilliantly are most likely exactly the things that your kids need for you to be doing brilliantly right now in this time in their lives. So keep being brilliant, moms!
“What makes YOU a Brilliant Mom?”
“I FIERCLY love my child…That may not make me stand out from any other mother but that’s what makes me brilliant…it’s what makes me rise at 5 am everyday to make 20 peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for preschool snack and to get the laundry going and the list goes on and on….The love I have for my child is what keeps my world in motion for when you see the world through a child’s eyes your perspective completely changes.”
“I used to bathe [my baby] in the tub with me up to 4 times a day when she came home from the NICU. It was the only thing that would soothe her and stop her from crying.”
“I am good at being savvy with our money and finding deals.”
“I love, love, love to give her snuggles. And kisses. And can easily spend a big chunk of the day just chilling on the ground with her playing and giggling with her!!!”
“I am a creative problem solver. For example, I sing directions when I want to shout orders.”
“I look at each of them in the eye every single day and tell them that they are loved by Jesus and I am honored to be their mama.”
“I’m not so sure I am a brilliant mom- yet. Everything is still so new and I try so hard to do the things I am supposed to do so she can hit her milestones and just be an overall happy and healthy baby.”
“I love making memories! I am very spur of the moment… I love coming up with special things to make a moment, day, event special. I am a such a rule follower, but LOVE breaking rules if I know the kids will look back on it and remember how much fun they had. Spur of the moment trip to the beach? check. Spur of the moment dance parties (my favorite)? check. and double check! Spur of the moment movie night? check. Spur of the moment cookie dough eating? check.”
“I smile, play, and cuddle my daughter all throughout the day. I think that kind of nurturing makes me a brilliant mom! Love is more than enough to be brilliant!”
“I try to teach the right way in life and hope to install the truth of God in his heart by being the example of our Heavenly Fathers perfect love and forgiveness.”
“I am a brilliant mom because not only do I love my daughter, but I also like her as well. I enjoy spending time with her. We make each other laugh, we like playing with each other, and I think her personality rocks. I believe loving your child deeply is fundamental, but liking your child shows them that who they are is fantastic. It builds self-confidence and teaches friendship. Love comes natural; liking is a choice.”
“Always being one step ahead of them… figuring out how to not just “put fires out” but stop the melt-down from beginning in the first place.”
“I do a good job of talking to my kid like he is an adult, meanwhile finding creative and relatable ways to explain new concepts, rules and activities to him- it has developed between us a very conversational relationship I hope continues throughout his life.”
“I do baby led breastfeeding, I make all her solids with organic or local farm produce, and I never use the microwave for her food. I cloth diaper her heinie.
Never use products that aren’t organic and I have not tested on myself on her skin. I wear her practically everywhere we go. I quit my old job and got a new one where she comes to work with me so she doesn’t have to go to daycare. I play with her all the time. We read together to make up for bad habits of videos.
I knit her blankets, slippers, hats and leg warmers (when I can master the sewing machine I’ll make other items.) She’s never had a sitter, only left her with family.
Tell her I love her and kiss her to pieces on a daily basis! I’m not sure any of this make me a brilliant mom, but it makes me feel like I’m doing my best to be one.”
“My desire and willingness to love my children deeply-learning who they are, what they love, what makes them afraid. I believe when I stop to see them for who they are (and not trying to put my dreams, expectations, or desires upon them) I can parent them the way they need me to. God has loved me this way and loving them as God loves is the desire of my heart as a Mom.”
“I am brilliant because I’m on a pursuit to become an even more faithful, skilled and intentional mother. I became a mother when I had a baby, but I want to pursue being a great mom like I would a profession.”
“I am silly! We LOVE being silly…laughing, tickling, dancing around the house…just plain goofy, loving FUN!”
“I just have fun with her and play games, laugh and teach her everything I can. She is my number one and both my husband and I try and make everyday fun and eventful.”
“I try to do something special with or for my kids almost on a daily basis. Also, everyday I let them know through gifts, time, words, etc. that they are valued and loved. I try to make them feel and believe they are the most incredible children in the world (which sometimes entails making positive declarations over themselves).”
“I know that if I accomplish nothing more than to teach her to love Jesus with all her heart, soul, mind, and strength………..I will have accomplished the most important thing and everything else will work itself out!”
“I have a ton of fun with my boys! Singing, dancing, tickling, laughing…I take the time to find each of them uniquely. And at the end of the day this is what is most important to me…not an organized house.”
“So my greatest mama quality is selfishness. Odd, I know. But I think about it a lot. Most overwhelmed moms deplete themselves too much. Their love tank empty. Me- selfish somehow. If I’m hungry I’ll eat, if I’m tired I’ll do a too-short tuck-in, if I’m cranky, I’ll tell them. That way I am always filled for them. Maybe it doesn’t make sense, maybe it sounds crazy, but I think a dose of selfishness makes a brilliant mama.”
“What makes me a brilliant mom: How much I love and show my daughter she is loved.”
“I am able to connect with who [my kids] are and what they need.”
“I truly embrace every minute with my little man. We play, we laugh, we read, we sing, we talk, we pray every day. I wake up each morning excited to grab him out of his crib and spend the day with him. I am so exuberantly thankful that I get to be his mommy that I don’t want a single moment to go by that I didn’t embrace wholeheartedly. Time goes by so quickly, I don’t want to remember doing laundry or making beds… I want to remember the giggles.”
Thank you so much to the mamas who took the time out of their busy days to respond to my questions. It really meant a lot to me. I loved reading each and every one of your responses.