I’m back on some more thoughts on ribbed tanks and yoga pants. In my haste to get out my post on ribbed tanks and yoga pants, I sadly overlooked one of the biggest obstacles for a stay-at-home or work-at-home mom to get herself dressed. I talked about reasons why you might just be in a ribbed tank and yoga period in your life and to not feel bad about that, but embrace it as temporary. I then addressed two excuses to not putting yourself together every day that you may be facing- not knowing where to start or sheer laziness. You can read more about those here. But I totally missed one of the biggest excuses!
“I just don’t have time.” You’ve said it, I’ve said it, every mom has said it. How does a mom have time take care of herself when she has little ones and a home to care for. There are meals to be prepared, diapers to be changed, toddler crisis to be diverted, homework to be helped with, floors to be mopped, dishes to be done, bills to be paid, and I’m sure your to do list, just like mine, goes on and on. Where are busy moms supposed to find the time to shower, get dressed, do their hair and makeup? The answer for many moms is never because taking care of the needs of your family seems to always trump caring for yourself. In come yoga pants and ribbed tanks, a messy bun, and… Is that yesterday’s mascara smeared around your eyes? (ha! I laugh because I have been that mom many times!)
So the issue is lack of time. And the answer is to make a plan and carve out the time. I believe in giving the best of yourself to your kids. But sometimes when you don’t take care of your own basic needs as a mom, your life can quickly get out of balance. I think that it is important for kids to see that their mom values herself. This doesn’t mean that all mommy responsibilities get dropped so you can primp yourself every morning, it’s just taking that bit of time that you need to put yourself together so that you feel good and confident about taking on the day. As a mom, you need to give yourself permission to have that bit of time, but many times our kids don’t give us the luxury of that time. That is where the plan comes in place.
I’ll share with you how over the past year I have made and changed my plan as situations have changed. (I’m sure moms with multiple children have some other advice on this to add and I would love to hear from you because I will be there one day!) When I first had my son, I had no plan. I quickly discovered that without a plan, my husband came home to the same wife that he kissed goodbye in the morning, PJ’s, messy hair, smeared mascara, and all! I wanted more for me, and I wanted more for him.
Since baby’s wake-up time varied a lot the first few months, my plan was that first nap time in the morning was “me” time. I showered, got ready, and did my devotional during that time. When he woke up at about 10, we were ready to take on the day. As baby dropped that first nap, my plan had to change. Since he more consistently would wake up at 7am, I decided that 6-7am would be my “me” time. This takes discipline (and going to bed earlier!) to make this happen. And it’s no surprise that baby likes to sometimes wake up at 6am with me and throw a wrench into that perfect plan. (Ahem… This morning.) On those days I just have to adjust. I’ll give the baby some Cheerios and milk in his high chair and get myself together in 10-15 minutes. I have to be quick and that often times means I have to skip a shower that day, unless the husband is still home and can watch baby for a few minutes while I shower. I do something quick to my hair, reapply makeup (I can do that in about 3 minutes nowadays), and get dressed.
I have a plan, and most days it works, but on the days that don’t I try to not beat myself up over it. I definitely still allow myself some ribbed tank and yoga pants days. My plan just helps me to limit them.